EnRaGeD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Godamnit!! WTF? At the moment I am extremely furious. I can't even begin to describe the colors that I am seeing in my fucking mind. Honesty has taken a flight outer space with no intentions of returning, as have all others aspects of morality. Virtues? Morals? Principles? No one has a fuckin clue. I'm soooooooo SICK of this shit I could scream until my fuckin eyeballs pop out. I wanna scream every obscenity known to man at you and I wanna torture your stupid ass for lying to me. DO NOT insult my intelligence by feeding me bullshit. Save it. Put it in a box. Bury it under a pile of horse shit and while you're at it dig yourself a hole. FUCK YOU in every language known to man!!!!!!!!!

Es una nino!!

Translation: It's a boy! Yippie. Hooray. Ok ok so I'm not exactly what you call enthused but I am happy. Honestly I'm over it! My heart melted when I saw the little stinker movin around in my belly. Playin with his feet and all. Ha ha, ultrasounds are the best. Geesh everyone around me seems to be havin boys. Goshdarnit, where are the girls?? I REALLY wanted a little girl so I could do all the frilly, prissy stuff. Yep, I'm a girly girl. Maybe she's in my future (but not my near future). Ya never know ;) Anywho, I think of it like this--my baby boy can be a mama's boy and he'll love me forever. Always protective of his lovely mommy. Awwwww. I just had to say it. Now his father on the other hand will be sure that his boy is involved in sports and various other "manly" activities. Yeah it's crucial to his development but he can't forget about the mama. No, not the mama. Shon seems to have this silly notion that I will be a jealousy-crazed, possessive mother. Lol, me?? Little old me? He thought it was funny to say that my son would be goin on his first date and I would desperately say "DJ where do you think you're going?? You can't go on a date with this girl. I'm your mother!!! I'm the only girlfriend you'll ever have!!!!!!!" Very funny. I wouldn't dare do anything like that *wink wink*. Look out little one! :)

I'm NUMB!

Not Linkin Park numb but numb because this baby is literally getting on my nerves! Seriously, the little one has got to be laying on a nerve because all 5 of the toes on my right foot are NUMB. It feels like somebody shot me up with Novacaine in my freakin toes. I am afraid, lol. I awoke from my peaceful sleep last night as a result of another weird and scary dream and then because my toes were completely numb and tingling. Uggggghhhhh! I tried lying there for a while but I was experiencing bouts of paranoia so I decided to wake Shon up (my significant other) and boy was he rattled. THE Grouchmeister himself was grumbling incoherent things while half asleep while I'm pouting and pleading with him to rub my toes and my belly, LMAO! I get tickled everytime I think about it and he had a flashback at lunch today. He clearly told me NOT TO WAKE HIM UP TONIGHT about numb toes. Loser. Well I'm experiencing a slight headache on the left side of my brain and it's sooooo annoying. It's interrupting my blogging. This kid I tell ya, not even here and already torturing me. Gotta talk to ya later alligator.

I've got a secret....Being pregnant is driving me bananas!!

I have THE weirdest dreams. The other night I dreamt of cupcakes and Jill Scott (lmao) and then I was rudely awakened by my oh so persistent bladder. Ummm I swear peeing every 15 minutes is the most annoying thing in the world!!! I am an on-the-go type of chick, so when I'm out and about I don't feel like stopping to pee every 5 seconds and I definitely hate getting out of my WARM BED to pee! Arrrggghhh! Oh and I can't forget the second most annoying thing, people who know I'm pregnant wanting to rub my stomach or people thinking that I've gained a little weight and I have a nasty little gut. Of course it's the most pleasant thing in the world to hear people say, "Oh Alawna! What is all that? (referring to my little pudge) You gotta do something about that." Thanks alot guys! Yeah yeah I know that most people are used to my svelte and sexy appearance but geez do you really think I'd let myself go like that??? Give me more credit than that. I'm only 4 months right now so I'm not exactly giving off a totally pregnant look. I'm still small so my belly just looks like a pudge. I'm ready to get over this hump so people won't keep thinkin I'm a fat ass! Let's not forget about those lovely people that I shall not name (ahem Jen, lmao) that want to rub my stomach and say "awwww" all the time. Excuse me while I vomit from all the disgusting sappiness that has been bestowed upon me.

The time has come and I have been contemplating buying maternity clothes (horror music) lol, I'm only joking. I have seen some cute stuff but I gotta keep lookin cuz I gotta keep it stylish, veerrrrryy important. Don't wanna be that pregnant chick who just doesn't care. Walking around lookin like whodunit and whatfor. Nope just not me. I'd rather be the pregnant chic mom as I have always been chic :) Sooo I shall begin my quest for these awfully stylish "fat girl" clothes, ha ha.

In the meantime, I shall consume my time with eating (yum) but not overeating, watching baby shows, exercising (whoo-hoo), traveling, and just simply having fun! Next month I find out the baby's sex. Yay! Alright guyz. I'm gone.

I forgot how to breathe for a second..

I have been incredibly busy for the past month of my life! Numerous things ranging from craploads of homework given out by my summer school teachers to road trips (yay!). I am a hormonal sleep-deprived individual. I mean I'm liable to go into a zombie-like state at any moment now. I need to sleep for like a week straight and maybe I can re-enter society fuctioning as a normal individual, lol.

Okay as my friends know very well there is always SOMETHING going on in my life. I honestly get the feeling that I'm a secret celebrity, lol. Anywho, this past weekend me and my sorority sisters went to Atlanta for their annual Greek Picnic and we had a blast! I fell in love with Atlanta the very first time I visited which was last year Labor Day weekend and this visit was even more superb. I tell ya, we were on the go nonstop. I can count the hours of sleep we had over a 3 day period on both of my hands (terrible). We went out every single night staying up until 6 in the morning, we went to Waffle House looking like sluts that had stayed out all night (which we did lol) and we went SHOOOPPPPINGG!! But I must recount the events of our first night out. I have never seen men so eager to talk to and awestruck by a group of women. I mean, we are GORGEOUS, but geez guys control yourself. From the moment we walked through the door eyes were glued on us and people were coming up to us left and right. One weirdo even followed us around the club, lol. It was crazy!! I must say that we got star treatment the duration of the trip. It was wonderful. I'm gonna post some pics up from the trip so you guys can experience our fabulosity (borrowed that from Kimora ;-).

Hmmm so finally I've completed the first session of summer school (I'm jumping up and down and flailing my arms all over the place) and I couldn't be happier but some very smart person decided that we didn't need a break in between sessions so instead of having a week or so for vacation I go back to school on MONDAY!!! Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy??? I could decide not to go but something tells me to just go ahead and stop thinkin about it. But the good thing about this summer is that I have been going on many road trips which has been fun. I'm goin to New Orleans again this weekend and hopefully I'll be able to go to New York or Miami before the end of the summer. We shall see. K guys I'm gettin sleepy so I think I'm gonna take a little nap before i start my evening activities. Later.

Thinking....

My thoughts are running amok so I have to spill my guts. I have been pondering this question of whether there is a such thing as being happy. People are always saying (including myself) that they are happy, but are they really?? Are they just saying that to pacify themselves--to convince themselves that they've got something good?? It sounds crazy but seriously, happiness is sporadic. It comes and goes. And I hear of people trying to achieve this goal of "the good life" in which happiness is the main component--in other words, the pursuit of happiness. You cannot achieve happiness because what you're trying to achieve is what I call "infinite happiness", which is nonexistent in this world. How can you attain happiness when nothing but bad surrounds you? This screwed up world and all the screwed up people in it make it damn near impossible to be happy. And this is why I have decided to get closer to the only thing that could eventually give me true happiness--God. It's like everyone is looking to the wrong things in life to make them happy. Whatever it is, forget about it cause I can guarantee you that whatever "things" you may think are it, are not. Things and imperfect people can make you happy for a while but it doesn't measure up to the peace that God can give you. Have some faith people!

Ok....now I'm done spilling my guts and I need to smile so let me

Ahem!! Is anyone out there???

It is I. I am back once again after a very long disappearance. Welllll.....a crapload of things have happened to me since I've been gone. Trust me, you'll never believe how my life has changed in just a couple of months. People have gone. People have come. A new life has been formed. I have moved to Never Never land (and no I am not referring to Micheal Jackson's weirdo ranch). And you won't believe it but I'm in summer school, as much as I have complained about being out of school!! Ugh! A disturbing number of my exes have weirdly been trying to pursue me. Umm yeah... Dang-it, I honestly just think someone switched lives with me and failed to inform me of this change. Can I have my life back? Lol, but seriously change is good and I'm strangely happy with all of this. Hell, who am I fooling? My hormones have taken over my brain and they cause me to do and say very strange things. I'm a nutcase.

But hey, let's put all personal follies aside and discuss something like YouTube. Yeah that's fun! Ok I am just a tad bit concerned about our youth today. WTF is goin on with these kids??? My friends forwarded me some video footage of a 7 year old boy who stole his grandmother's car and DROVE it and not only drove it but hit 4 cars. Then when reporters asked this kid why he did what he did, he responded that "he wanted to do hoodrat things with his friends". What 7 year old says things like that?! OMG and why did the little kid have to be black?? *smh* Youth today...they REALLY need help. And I'm still puzzled as to why his darn grandmother didn't whip his little behind. She had the nerve to say she "just wanted to whip his behind but she didn't wanna go to jail for whipping him on camera". You are his legal guardian so who the hell ever said you couldn't whip your child out in public?? I mean I'm not sayin abuse the boy but I kinda think this little incident deserves some physical punishment along with some mental help. Honestly I think the darn grandma was scared of him because I found another video of him physically attacking her in Wal-Mart and she told the reporters that she was just standing there like an idiot lettin his little bad a$$ hit on her!!! Lord! I don't even wanna talk about them anymore. They are seriously makin me angry. This is a darn mockery. I posted the first video. You can watch if you like.